Yep, it happened! I burnt the house down because I left the Hair Straightener on.
Ok , maybe DIDN’T burn the house down, but I could have (insert disappointed face of the fiancé here).
I didn’t know that ‘Baby Brain’ was an actual thing. I was determined not to be one of ‘those’ pregnant women and forget the important stuff but I have been… regularly.. and with no sign of stopping anytime soon. All I have to say is that I am very lucky I don’t have any other spawn to be accountable for as yet because I am pretty sure that leaving a child in Target unattended is frowned upon.
It started with leaving the hair straightener on, I’d done it when I WASN’T pregnant so it was nothing new to me however, I have never felt the panic of actually not knowing if I had or hadn’t turned it off (I always knew I hadn’t – I was just lazy and careless clearly!!). But this time, my mind was not having any of this, did I leave it on? I actually don’t know..maybe.. oh shit, I think I did…but I can’t remember..argh!!!! I called the yoncè and asked him to go home and check because I actually had no idea (obvs wasn’t happy that he had to leave work – he does work closer to home then I do) buuuuuut, our house could have been burnt to the ground and it was all my fault! LUCKY, it wasn’t but yes, I had left it on..all 200 degrees of steel on marble..oops! Crisis averted…thanks babe, you the best!
Next up, we have forgetting to do important tasks at work. I work in an industry that requires attention to detail and if it isn’t done on THAT day, shit hits the fan. Clients are losing their minds as they haven’t received invoices for services they have paid for, emails haven’t been sent to confirm important appointments and documents, phone calls haven’t been made to calm patients nerves … I am actually losing my mind here and meanwhile, I am congratulating myself on remembering to turn the straightener off after last weeks incident. It’s give and take people, it’s give and take!
I am normally a very organised person with slight OCD tendencies (I go through at least an A4 notebook a week from writing down ‘things to do’ notes) – so you would think I would be fine. Work is ok, I can handle that – just takes me a little longer at the moment!
Ahh, now the phone. I NEVER not have this little piece of time waster in my hand, eyesight, in the vicinity of anywhere I am at. It may as well be surgically attached to my hand and I am pretty sure that my Index Finger and Thumb are almost ready for any music festival from the amount of working out they do.
I have way too may places for my phone to hide in, but the fridge? C’mon. Well yes, I lost my phone for a good hour and 10 or so minutes. I’ll call it? Nope, it’s on silent! SUCKER!! Shit, maybe I can hear it vibrate…ssshhh everyone…hmmm nup. Ok where was I last? I got out of the car, I put my bag on my shoulder (check under car – no phone), I walked inside, I put my bag on the kitchen counter (check draw – no phone), I went to the toilet and washed my hands (check in toilet – no phone), I cuddled the dog and yelled at the cat for meowing (check cat – no phone), I put the washing on and put stuff in the dryer (oh please don’t be in either of those devices – ok good, no phone), I had a shower and put my hair in an awesome looking rats nest (no phone in rats nest) and then went back downstairs to cook dinner. Sooooo where the f$&k is my phone – I miss you.
After what felt like 5 hours, I go into the fridge (after already being in there not even an hour ago to get dinner stuff out) and there it is. Sitting on the dog food. RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERY OTHER FOOD THERE IS IN THE FRIDGE! How did I not see it? It’s a conspiracy.
So I found it, it was fine, I was fine, everyone was fine. Seriously though, what is happening to my brain?
Who am I ? Where do I live? Why is the dog following me around the house?
Oh. Forgot to feed the dog.