I Can Cry if I Want To.

Now, you all know me quite well by now. 

I'm really funny (self assessed ahhh thank you), I'm honest, I'm over the top and I bear all my parenting and mum issues online for everyone to read. Why? Cause I got you. I want other mummas to read my blog and think, oh thank GOD I'm not alone in this... there ARE other mums out there peeing while exercising. PHEW!!!

But what I don't normally do, is talk about the super serious stuff. The reason for this is that if I did go into so much detail about it, I would cry, like Kim K ugly cry... for days! I like to keep my posts on Social Media light heartened and funny. It not only helps you guys, it helps me too, and that's important.

Today I will be going in to this blog on a very serious matter and one that I have been an ambassador for many years now. Now if you don't want to read any further, thats totally fine but if you are a woman who has (or is) a victim of Domestic Violence, I urge to read on. I wish that I had support many many years ago and for that reason, I'm letting you know I hear you!

It took a lot for me to move on from my past. A past of physical and emotional abuse from a very overpowering boyfriend. I was withdrawn, I lost my way, I lost who I was. I kept quiet and told only a handful of people what was going on (after a few excuses of why broken bones had occurred). I was scared and I was alone. I kept going back for 4 years and I can hear you saying 'Why did she go back?' 'Why didn't she just leave?'. I mentally couldn't. I was so emotionally damaged that I was left with a shell of a body with no one inside anymore.

I had distanced myself from my family, my close friends and all I had left was him. The one person who was doing me the most damage. I endured countless nights/days of verbal abuse, I just accepted the physical abuse and hid what I could the best I knew how, I had almost accepted that this was my life now. 

For years it went on, getting worse and more intense until one day I thought he was going to end my life, and the person I had become, a shell, was happy to go, I had had enough and couldn't fight anymore. I was lucky a person we knew came to visit and stopped him from taking my last breath.  The next day, I packed my life into my tiny Getz and after driving myself to the beach and watching life just happen in front of me, I made the choice to look after me. The one person that I had neglected for so long. The person who had changed into something I would never have thought I would be. I needed to get back to where I was, WHO I was before all of this. The over the top, bloody hilarious, extroverted and confident woman I always was. AND SHE IS BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

I started my life again. From the very beginning. I rebuilt my bridges with family and friends, I moved on and met a whole new group of friends (who are still my amazing peeps to this day) and I met the most amazing human being anyone could come across.

He fixed me. He loved me, like LOVE love. He was my knight in shining armour and he made me ME again and I will be forever grateful for him. Whatever or whoever brought him into my life that one day (a day I was going to stay at home), I'm thankful.

I have him, I have this beautiful baby and I have my own little family that I appreciate more than anything and that is what makes me happy.

If you or anyone one you know is going through this type of situation, DO NOT STOP FIGHTING. If it's a family member, friend or colleague, don't step aside when they say it's ok and they will deal with it. You do everything you can to help, they need it, they just don't want to burden anyone. If it is YOU, going through this, PLEASE talk to your family about it. Don't push them away, you need them more than you think. If you can't talk to them, talk to someone at the 1800 RESPECT hotline.

There is help and it is readily available to you or someone you know that needs it.

Support White Ribbon - Australia's campaign to prevent men's violence against women.

25 November 2017 - support anyway you can!

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